Dancing in the Rain

Mom on Mother's day

2009-05-21T08:56:00.000-07:00

I became a mom on Mother's day at 34 weeks. They were tiny - 3 lbs 2 ounces and 3 lbs 10 ounces but they did not have any other serious problems. They decided to come by different routes - one vaginal and one had to be delivered by c-section. Both the babies are doing fine and came home from the hospital in one week. We had our first visit with their pediatrician yesterday and the babies now weigh 3 lbs 13 ounces and 4 lbs 4 ounces. We are totally sleep-deprived now :) but the babies are doing great. I will update more later.

34 weeks OB appointment

2009-05-06T13:47:00.000-07:00

I am 34 weeks today. I never thought I will make it so far. I had my OB appointment and my OB was also amazed. She also said that when I was hospitalized at 27 weeks, she never thought I will be still pregnant at 34 weeks. Of course, there is still the blood pressure problem but no preeclampsia so far. I had the tests done twice last week and will again have to do it this week. Life is full of doctors appointments and NSTs (3 days a week) but still it is better than having to stay in the hospital or delivering the babies early. I am not even in bedrest though I am not doing much at home - only sitting and eating and sleeping. My OB told me that from now on, the babies do not need steroids for lung maturity. I have a growth scan next Tuesday and another appt with the OB on Wednesday. She will check my cervix next week and depending on the state of my cervix and the growth ultrasound, we will decide on a date for induction unless something happens earlier. But probably it will be 37 weeks maximum. In case the babies are born after 36 weeks, they might not even have to spend time in the hospital.
So 36 weeks is my next goal but I am very, very happy to have made it so far.

33weeks 1 day

2009-04-30T22:47:00.000-07:00

Today I am 33 weeks 1 day pregnant. Somehow my ticker is in a different time zone and it shows 33 weeks 2 days and I do not know how to change it. Anyways, I went for my NST on Tuesday and my bp was borderline and the babies were fine - so I did not have to go to Labor and Delivery. Then I had my growth scan. The growth of the babies have slowed down - Baby A is 3 lbs 10 oz (18th percentile) and Baby B is 4 lbs (30th percentile). So the doctors doing the ultrasound recommended I schedule another grown scan in 2 weeks which will help in determining when I should deliver. They also said identical twins are delivered before fraternal twins; so it will be maximum 3-4 weeks. I am hoping Baby A will also be 4 lbs before being born. Tomorrow I go for another NST. I also did another 24 hr urine collection and blood tests on Tuesday. I was waiting for phone calls these two days but there were none. I assume no news is good news as usually they call if there is a problem.

My mom is arriving from India tomorrow afternoon and I am very very happy (My family is from India). She will stay till mid of August. It is very nice of her as she is still working and she has a position with lot of responsibility and it is difficult for her to take time off. I am counting the hours before she lands here.

Last prenatal class and baby shower

2009-04-27T11:02:00.000-07:00

Last weekend was very busy. The twin mom's club of which I am a member hosted its garage sale on Saturday. I went and picked up a Baby Trend Double Snap n Go stroller and some other stuff. We went for our last prenatal class "Newborn Care 101" on Saturday afternoon. Then yesterday some of my friends hosted a babyshower for me. Our hubby was involved but they did not tell me about it. I had guessed it though; so it was not really a surprise :). There were lots of people - more than 50. The friends in whose house the baby shower took place just had their second child and she is only 2 months old. So it was really great of them to put in all the effort. I was just sitting in one place the whole time though.

I have my NST and ultrasound on Tuesday. Will update about what happens.

32 weeks and Belly Pics

2009-04-24T10:28:00.001-07:00

I am 32 weeks 2 days today. Yesterday I went for my NST and then to my OB clinic. My pressure came high again, but not as high as the previous time. Thanks Evergreen for your suggestions. Baby A was so active that the nurses doing the NST said she is doing aerobic exercise. Then I went for my OB appointment. My sugar levels seem to have stabilized. So she did not increase my insulin levels this time. She did not send me to the hospital this time but she consulted the attending MFM and the plan is to have me do another 24 hour urine and blood tests. Also, from next time I go for NSTs twice a week. I have my growth ultrasound scheduled for next week. However, my OB had told me 24, 28 and 32 weeks are the milestones to reach and I have reached 32 weeks. Yay! I hope that the babies stay inside as long as possible but 32 weeks is great and my hospital has the fifth best NICU in US (the reason I chose this hospital instead of the one closest to our home). I feel much more confident and relaxed now.

I did not post any belly pics before. Here are my 23 weeks and 32 weeks belly pics. You can see a significant size difference :)

Long overdue

2009-04-13T13:35:00.000-07:00

I know I have not updated for a long time. Anyways, the last few weeks were a little challenging. I have "white coat syndrome" which means my blood pressure becomes high at doctor's clinics. However, all throughout the pregnancy it was pretty good 100/60 , 110/70 and so on. Well, I went for my dietitian when I was 27 weeks and the nurse checked my bp. It was high - 140/90... she checked thrice and it was around the same. So I was sent to labor and delivery in the hospital which is opposite the clinic. My bp was kind of high there (though it was coming down ) and my heart was racing. They took a lot of blood for various tests and then started me on the 24 hour urine sample. I was admitted to the hospital and put on IV because they thought my heartrate was high because of dehydration. It was on a Friday and on Saturday, a MFM doc came and told me they might have to give steroids to mature the babies' lungs and brains. I was very worried; all I could think that I am only 27 weeks. I told them I tend to get high bp if anxious but they did not believe me. They had a cardiologist come and check me out and they took an EKG. The EKG and all the blood test results came back normal. Finally, on Saturday night the 24 hour urine test results came back and there was no protein in the urine. So I was discharged.

The following Wednesday I had an appointment with my OB and as usual my bp was high. My ob told me to relax at home and monitor my bp and start Non Stress Tests from 30 weeks.

So last week, I went for my NST which was all good. Then I went to the OB clinic and my bp was very high. So my doc sent me to the hospital once more. At the hospital they again took my blood, monitored my bp and heart rate. My bp was kind of okay but heart was racing - like 140. And I forgot to mention I had also done an echo in between which had come back fine. Anyways, they let me come home because they thought this might be due to anxiousness. I was supposed to do a 24 hour urine collection at home and take it back. I took the sample on Friday night but somehow the lab people lost it. Anyways, they told me not to bother about the urine sample as I go back again this Wednesday for another NST. But from now on, I am prepared to stay in the hospital any time. In fact, I packed my hospital bag today. I am hoping nothing happens before 32 weeks... but I will be 31 weeks by wednesday so it is much better than last time.

Fetal echo

2009-02-10T17:21:00.000-08:00

I had my fetal echo appointment yesterday. It was at the hospital and my hubby accompanied me for the appointment. It was basically an ultrasound kind of thing. I did not understand what they were trying to see. But Looked like my uterus has gone upto my chest. I wonder whether my stomach is :). Both the babies are on the right side though. One is up and one is down. Baby B (the up baby) was keeping on moving and the ultrasound technician was having a hard time with her. They were kicking each other yesterday. Usually their favorite position is head to head - as if they are talking to each other. It took about an hour to complete the whole procedure. Then the doctor came in and told us everything looks fine. There might be small defects the test might have missed but nothing major. I do not need any repeat appointments. That was a big relief.

It was sad to sit in the waiting room though. They were so many kids coming in for the tests.

I am feeling the babies move quite a lot nowadays. Sadly for my husband, whenever he tries to feel them move, they stop. I will be 22 weeks tomorrow and now I am starting to show.

20 weeks

2009-01-28T19:24:00.000-08:00

I cannot believe I am already 20 weeks pregnant. Reached the half-way mark for a singleton pregnancy, of course mine will be earlier. As I am having monochorionic diamnionic twins (translation: one placenta but two amniotic sacs) I have ultrasounds every two weeks to make sure there is no sign of Twin-to-twin Transfusion syndrome. Add nutritionist, doctor and acupuncturist appointments to that, my life has become pretty busy. I also have a fetal echo scheduled for Feb 9 which is making me a little nervous but I hope everything will be okay.

So the 17th week ultrasound revealed that I am having girls :) and the 19th week ultrasound confirmed that. They are growing according to schedule and everything seems fine with them so far. I have been very busy with work till now and have not done any preparation for the babies till now. I just registered for some classes starting from March. So have to start looking for cribs, minivan and other stuff soon.

Happy New Year 2009

2009-01-06T10:22:00.000-08:00

I am been a terrible blogger. I have not updated my blog for ages. Anyways, wishing everyone a very happy 2009. Nity and Leigh got their BFP recently - I am very very happy for them. Hope everyone else gets their wishes fulfilled this year.

About me, it is hard to believe I am already in my 2nd trimester. In fact, tomorrow is the first day of my fifth month. I am still nauseous (who said nausea goes away after first trimester) and recently starting getting heartburn. I am taking insulin four times a day now and so my day is pretty much filled with taking insulin, doing blood tests, walking after breakfast, lunch and dinner and having something to eat every two hours. I think God is preparing me for life with twins :).

Remember my initial post about a friend who conceived her second child in the first month? Well I came to know that her sister had fertility problems. She had four IVFs but had miscarriages every time. Finally, she had to take the help of a surrogate mother. Her son is now more than one year old.

Also, if anyone who reads this blog has twins, I would love to hear any tips/suggestions on taking care of twins....

First OB visit

2008-11-26T11:53:00.000-08:00

Today I went for my first OB visit though I have been to the OB clinic quite a few times already because of my diabetes. We also went to the hospital which is just opposite the clinic yesterday for genetic counseling. I am scheduled for my nuclear transparency test on Dec 4th and they will also do some blood tests that day that will give an estimate of chromosomal abnormalities. They gave us a sheet which has the estimated risk for every age and the risk increases so much year by year. Also, I am not being able to control my blood sugar levels with diet and exercise alone; so I have to start on insulin. That means pricking myself six times a day but we IVF people are used to needles :). One of the bad things of going to Stanford is that though it is only approx. 14 miles from my house, the route is through very congested inside roads and it takes 30-45 minutes drive.

My OB seems nice... she was referred by a colleague of my husband's and she is a faculty in Stanford. However she said she believes I was diabetic before pregnancy and as I have having identical twins, they will monitor me very closely. So I need to do a number of tests. To start with, I need to collect my urine for 24 hours and take it back to the clinic for my next appt. Then I need to do a number of blood tests. After some weeks, they will do a fetal echo to make sure the babies' hearts are okay and so on. Also, because of my diabetes, I have to eat sometimes every 2-3 hrs, walk for 20 mins and then do a blood sugar test. This is not leaving me much time to do anything else. I cannot simply go out anywhere. I have to think how much time it is going to take and pack a snack accordingly and also carry my glucose monitoring kit. Anyways, everything is okay as long as the babies are fine and they seemed to be fine today....

The rollercoaster continues

2008-11-14T13:59:00.000-08:00

I have not blogged for quite some time. My excuses are 1) I have been busy at work 2) I am feeling nauseated and hence have not been feeling like blogging. Anyways, last week I went for my 8th week ultrasound and saw the identical twins in the ultrasound. They are in one placenta but they have two separate amniotic sacs. Then we had a big surprise - there was another placenta but my RE did not see any heartbeat in the second placenta. So we are still having identical twins but the second placenta might create some problems with some of the diagnostic tests.

So this Wednesday I went for a pregnancy class at Stanford OB clinic. I have an appointment with the OB there on 26th. The nurse took my family history and as my father has diabetes, made me go for a blood sugar test. And guess what? My blood sugar is very high - in fact, they are suspecting I might had diabetes before pregnancy. I go for another test next Thursday that will find my blood sugar level for the last 3-4 months to see whether I had diabetes before my pregnancy. I also have to go for a diabetes management class that day. This is bad news. The baby's organs develop in the early weeks of pregnancy and having uncontrolled diabetes at that time might lead to birth defects. It is very likely that I had diabetes before considering my high blood sugar level. I wish I had checked my blood sugar level before the IVF so that I could not managed it but there is no point beating myself up over what could have been done. I did check my blood sugar before I started trying which was 2 years back. So even though my IVF worked, I am still worried because I do not just want to be pregnant, I want healthy babies. And thinking whether they are okay, is making me terrified.

Mixed Emotions

2008-10-22T14:12:00.000-07:00

Today I went for my 6 week ultrasound and we found we are having identical twins. We were very happy to see the two heartbeats but as our RE said identical twins tend to have much more complications than fraternal twins. I have another ultrasound scheduled after two weeks and then we will be able to figure out whether there is structural abnormalities and whether they have the same amniotic sac or different amniotic sacs. There is another potential problem called Twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome where one twin can receive much more blood than the other which is bad for both of them. The good news is my babies seem to be quite far from each other. This also means we have to choose a pretty good hospital that has a good neonatal unit. Our RE said that the hospital closest to our house will be able to handle single or fraternal twins but maybe they are not well equipped enough to handle identical twins. So we have to choose another hospital which is 14 miles away. Fortunately, that is not very far off and that is an excellent hospital. So we are happy and apprehensive at the same time - happy that we saw two heartbeats and apprehensive about what the future holds for us.

5 weeks

2008-10-15T13:30:00.000-07:00

Today I am 5 weeks pregnant. My second HCG (which was last Friday) was 541 and my RE said that the progesterone and estrogen levels were perfect. However, I have read so many horror stories on so many blogs that I am still scared. I have no pregnancy symptoms other than sore boobs which is due to the progesterone I am taking. It still does not feel real. I think I will believe I am pregnant once I see the ultrasound next week. In the meantime I was busy working as I had tons of work piled up. I did not do much before the beta... so I was making up for that. I also started reading some pregnancy books.

Today is also the National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day in the United States. I am praying for all of you who have lost a child.

After two years.....

2008-10-08T12:58:00.000-07:00

finally I am pregnant. My RE called me up just now and said I have HCG of 294. She said it is pretty good and I have to go for another blood test on Friday.
I cannot believe it yet. I remember it was in October 2006 I went for a prenatal consult with a doctor and started taking prenatal vitamins. My DH and I were both working from home today and so he was there when the phone call came. We are both very, very happy but I think it will take some time before the whole thing finally sinks in. And I want to thank all of you for your prayers and support. You all are wonderful.

Countdown begins

2008-10-07T08:29:00.000-07:00

It's 24 more hours to my blood test. I decided not to POAS... I will be waiting for the phone call to know the result. Surprisingly I am feeling pretty calm compared how I felt during my IUIs. So tomorrow will be either a very happy day or very sad day for us. Whatever happens, I will let you folks know. But please, please pray for me.

Cautiously Optimistic

2008-10-02T19:37:00.000-07:00

I have been having mild AF-like cramping for the last couple of days. I am hoping that this is a sign of the embryos implanting and making themselves comfy in the uterus. I also went for my acupuncture today and my acupuncturist said that my pulse looked good and he asked me to make appointments for next Monday and Thursday (my blood test is on Wednesday). Maybe I am reading a little too much but this makes me feel a little better. The final reason for feeling optimistic is I came across someone's blog today who did not have any embryos for freezing but in spite of that she is pregnant. That gives me hope and I am trying to be more positive.

Speaking of blogs, I am addicted to IF blogs now. I am checking for updates all the time and not getting much work done. I am planning to keep myself busy this weekend so that I do not keep thinking of the outcome of this IVF.

2 Blastocysts transferred

2008-09-30T13:35:00.001-07:00

Yesterday we went to our clinic for my 5 day blastocyst transfer. My RE came with a photo of 3 embryos that made it to blastocyst stage. They transferred the better-looking 2 blasts. We had lunch and then I went straight for acupuncture. Then we came back home and I took rest for the remainder of the day.

My RE called me up just now and said that the remaining blastocyst was still growing but it was not of a good quality and so they are not freezing it. Honestly, I am disappointed. I am now concerned about the quality of the embryos that were transferred. Looks like I have low quantity as well as quality. I am feeling very hopeful the day I learnt all the eggs fertilized. Now I am skeptical about the outcome of this IVF. DH and I had discussed we will probably go for 2 or max 3 IVFs and then move on. So this is the beginning of the end of our journey. I am scared about what the future will hold for us.

Grow, Embies, grow

2008-09-27T08:11:00.000-07:00

Today was supposed to be day 3 transfer and my nurse had told me that if my clinic decides that they will do a Day 5 transfer, they will call me up between 8 to 8:30am. My ET was scheduled for 10:30am. I was hoping for a day 5 blastocyst transfer. I think I woke up around 5:30 am today, excited and a little nervous. I kept on looking at the clock every minute from 7:55am. Fortunately, I did not have to wait that long. My RE called me up around 8:03am and said 7 of the 8 embryos are looking good. 1 little guy did not divide. So they are going to do a 5 day transfer. She said around 50% make it to day 5. So I am telling my embies to grow and make it to day 5.

On another note, yesterday the friends who are expecting their second child called us up saying that they wanted to meet for dinner if we were free. One of our other friends also came for dinner. All of them were asking us when we are planning to have a baby. We have not told them we are having problems. Strangely enough, I did not feel so bad when I met them.

Good news

2008-09-25T08:48:00.000-07:00

My doctor called me just now. All 8 eggs fertilized. I am very happy. Hopefully, some of them are good quality. I am keeping my fingers crossed.

Egg Retrieval Day

2008-09-24T18:47:00.000-07:00

I had my egg retrieval today at 10:45am. I had to trigger with Ovidrel Monday at 10:45pm and my DH had to take Levaquin Monday and yesterday. I also took an antibiotic called Doxycycline yesterday and I have to continue taking that till it gets over. I went to the clinic around 10 am and had to change into a gown. Then the nurse took my temperature and blood pressure and put the IV. She put something first which stuck like a bee and then she put the IV in. The anesthesiologist came and asked me some questions and then I said bye to my DH and walked to the OR. I just remember lying down and having an oxygen mask put in.

Anyways, the doctor came and told that they retrieved 8 eggs. She told they figured out why my right ovary is not making many eggs. It is very close to the uterus and there might be some scarring in the right ovary. She said it looks hopeful. I know 8 eggs is not a good number but I am hoping the eggs are of good quality and some fertilize.
We will know more tomorrow.

On another note, I wanted to thank my sweet friend Nity for tagging me. Here are the rules:

Rules:
1. Link to the person who tagged you
2. Write 7 random things about yourself
3. Tag 7 people at the end of your post and link to them
4. Let each person you have tagged know by leaving a comment on their blog

I am done with Rule #1. So here goes Rule #2:

1) I do not like waking up with the alarm clock and I am not a morning person. If I set the alarm to get up early someday, I get up several times in the night to check the time.

2) I love chocolates. I do not know what I will do if I have to give up chocolates.

3) My DH looks very young. Though he is 32, he looks like 21/22. In fact, he regularly gets asked by bartenders to show his ID.

4) I love drinking water. I was asked not to drink anything from midnight yesterday because of the egg retrieval and I was very worried. But yesterday I drank gallons of water till midnight and I was fine.

5) My DH and I weigh the same (138 lbs) though he is 6 inches taller than me :(.

6) I am an only child. This is compensated by my DH's large family (5 siblings) :).

7) I have lots of wavy hair which lot of people like. However, I find it very difficult to manage and I wish I had straight manageable hair.

Okay, now to rule #3. Here it goes: Sarah, Leigh,Cathleen, Hannah, Melanie,Evergreen baby

I leave it up to you whether you want to play or not.

Green Signal for Ganirelix

2008-09-19T12:17:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I went for my second ultrasound. They saw 8 follicles measuring between 9 and 11 and the lining was 7. The nurse called me up and asked me to stay on the same medication dosage and start Ganirelix from today. Tomorrow I have to go for another ultrasound and bloodwork and monday I have to go for my pre-op. I will also have a consult with an RE at my clinic. My regular RE will not be there so this will be a different doctor. He did one of my IUIs though and he seems to be nice and friendly. He will tell me whether I stop Menopur and Gonal-F from Monday or Tuesday. I also had to get extra Gonal-F because I do not have enough for Monday.Fortunately, my insurance is covering IVF and the medications this time. But if it does not work, next time we have to pay out of our own pocket.

We are planning to go for the Monterey Jazz Festival tomorrow. We have to carry the medicines though and give the shots in the car. But we are looking forward to some great music tomorrow.

U/S #1

2008-09-16T14:02:00.001-07:00

Today I went for my first ultrasound after I started stimming. There are 3 follicles in my right ovary and 2 in my left. Looks like I am not very good at egg production. Anyways, my nurse case manager called up just now and she said that I have to start taking 300 units of gonal-f in the morning as well. She is going to order some more medicine for me and I have to go again on Thursday to see how my follicles are doing.

Strangely enough, I am not feeling so sad today as I did when I went for the baseline ultrasound. From reading all the other blogs I have realized that even if I have a lot of eggs, I may not become pregnant and even if I get a BFP, things might not work out later. So I cannot keep on obsessing about IF and getting stressed about everything that happens in this IVF cycle. I am fortunate enough to have loving parents, excellent relatives and the greatest husband in the world. I will be grateful if I can become a mother but I am thankful for what I have right now. I do not know what I will say later in this journey but right now I am trying to appreciate what I have.

Started Stimming

2008-09-13T23:31:00.000-07:00

I started taking 300 IU of Gonal-F and 75 IU of Menopur from yesterday. My DH is giving me the shots. Today was much better than yesterday. We discovered it is much better to get the needles in and out quickly. Also, you should wipe the area where you want to inject with alcohol and wait for it to dry off. Yesterday he did it slowly and there was one-two drops of blood. Today nothing. I am following an antagon protocol and so no Lupron for me. I will go for an ultrasound on tuesday to see how things are coming along.

Following an antagon protocol was a bit of bad news. It was supposed to be Lupron. But my FSH was a little high (9.5) this time and the doctor said she saw less eggs than normal for women my age(I am 32). Not good news. But hopefully I still have a few good eggs.

I am feeling apprehensive about this cycle. For my 3 IUIs I had mature 2-3 follicles, my hubby had excellent sperm. Nothing happened. So I am scared. What if this does not work?

Irony of Life

2008-09-06T17:42:00.000-07:00

Today I got my medicines. I will take my last BCP on Sunday and go for baseline ultrasound on Monday. The doctor put me on an Antagon Protocol as she saw less eggs in my ovary for someone my edge. Also, my FSH was not too good this time 9.5. My FSH had been tested twice before and it was less than 5 both times. So maybe my ovaries are aging. I am hoping that at least one of my eggs is of good quality though.

We also learned today that one of our best friends is expecting their second baby. They do not know about our IF though. We called them up for something and they said they are 14 weeks. They found out about the pregnancy the last time we met them for a 10K walk and they had been only trying for 2 weeks before that. After I kept down the phone, I knew I am not ready to tell them about our IF or meet them for some time now. We have been trying for almost two years now and they have been for 2 weeks. I feel like laughing and crying at the same time at the irony of it all.